Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Adventures in Slum Living Episode 9: Wayne Whitney's Wondrous Yard

Alas! Although I'd planned to write an intelligent, well thought out piece on freedom of expression, the first amendment, censorship, and Chinese-American rage over a controversial rap song called "Meet the Flockers" I became distracted this week, while still trying to sort out past issues that came back to haunt me.

Therefore I churn out another photo heavy piece on that disgusting but always worth a look piece-of-shit Wayne Whitney, a man in Albany who does not like being called "a slumlord."

If you get the chance to explore the hallways of 16 Benson Street, you will find this amazing letter. You will notice a few things quickly. First, Wayne Whitney does not have a good command of the written English language or the rules of English grammar. Oh well, like I said, he is a moron, so what you do you expect?

Second, you will notice that he wishes to keep the yard to himself. It is his treasure for his use only. He is lord and master of this yard and it is not for the use of his tenants who are beneath him. I mentioned previously that a friend, a friend who has since apologized, recommended I rent this place. He recently said "But Wayne means well. He has a good heart." I said, "No, he doesn't. He is a bully who wishes to lord it over other people. The only reason he is nice to you is that he looks up to you." (And Wayne Whitney is not just a bully, he's also stupid and dishonest.)

Third, yes, that is his real phone number. The place is for rent now as far as I know. You can call him if it interests you. And, no, he's not paying me for this great advertising, and, yes, he does assure me "There is nothing wrong with this apartment." --so how can he possible object if I send potential tenants to him this way?

Alas, if one has the experience of living at 16 Benson Street what you will soon see is that Wayne often exhibits the unthinking and unhesitating selfishness of a small child or rodent. He not only keeps the yard to himself, but also keeps the entire basement and attic to himself. Most apartments come with some sort of storage space for the tenants to use. Not 16 Benson Street. Wayne is hogging it all for himself. 

So let's look at this awesome yard. For better or worse, these are photos of the place on a good day. It had recently been cleaned. 
The yard is partially blacktopped, and the blacktop poorly maintained.
Well, i don't know about you, but when I see something like this my first thought is
let's get some kids, and a blanket, and some fried chicken and potato salad and have a picnic.
Nothing I'd rather do than picnic on uneven black top. 

The backyard tree.
Now I know you wish to sit under this tree next to the broken garbage cans and take a second picnic, but, HA! --you can't. They are Wayne's -Wayne B. Whitney's and for his use only.
They are, in his mind, too good for people like you and me.  

Wayne's garbage cans. Like everything in this place, damaged and in disrepair. I mean what is the purpose of a garbage can lid anyway if it has a six inch diameter hole in it? 

It's such a shame I cannot go and play in this yard. 
It makes me so sad that Wayne Whitney, a man who does not like when he is referred to as a "slumlord," would not let me because I was merely a tenant who paid him rent. 

The walkway to the street 

Another view of the walkway to the street. 

No comments:

Post a Comment