In late May, I attended an event called "Violence Dynamics -Boston." Although a four day event, I attended just day three, which was enough to get the flavor of the thing and see how it was structured and put together. It was a business trip that allowed me to sort and clarify a few things about what is going on in the whole self defense / fringe publishing field ( Buy my Books Please! ) and get a sense of how these travelling seminars worked and what it took to teach them. *
To me, as stated in the last three posts in this series, one of the most interesting part of the program was when Randy King taught about pre-attack indicators and street people. (you can sort of follow my thoughts on this by clicking the label Street People )
As stated elsewhere, although the attendees seemed quite enthusiastic about it, I felt it missed a few things. Having given it some thought, here's my thoughts on dealing with street people who might invade your space.
1. Avoid unnecessary eye contact. Don't be rude, don't get locked into a straight ahead thing, look around, notice people, but don't focus on them long enough to really get locked into any forced interaction.
2. Avoid creating an unnecessary inter-personal connection.
3. Keep on walking.
To emphasize these things, I am going to give three examples of interactions with street people, each in a different blog post, all real, all set in Schenectady. This is the first one.
First one, years ago, when I lived in the Stockade, I lived in a four apartment building on the second floor. I miss my apartment from those days. I got a break on the rent because my father owned the building and I would help out with managing it, especially when he was away.
The apartment below me was rented to a half-way house transition program for people designated M.I.C.A -Mentally Ill, Chemically Dependent, a dual diagnosis. A member of the program who had done well in the early stages of his transition and rehabilitation would stay there. They were generally good people, sometimes a bit "off" in their behaviors, but they were better neighbors than many other people in that building.
One of these folks, who I will call "Robert" as that is not his real name, was diagnosed as bipolar / manic-depressive and would participate enthusiastically in his programs. These programs included A.A. meetings (Alcoholics Anonymous) one of which he would attend on Friday nights a few blocks away. Robert was friendly and liked to help people, particularly when he was in his "up" cycle and feeling a bit manic. In such state, he would actually at times patrol the city, looking for people to help and when he saw a down on their luck drunk encourage them to straighten out and try sobriety like he was doing. He also wrote poetry.
I miss Robert. I have no idea whatever happened to him. It's been years. (and, of course, I did once speak to him about the safety risks involved in roaming Schenectady in the middle of the night, literally, he'd often do it when he couldn't sleep, but he said he knew those risks and was willing to assume them. Fair enough.)
So one Friday Robert went out for his Friday night A.A. meeting at the nearby church, an event I'd normally take no notice of, and came back around ten. And one night, around ten, I was upstairs doing my things when I heard the sudden sound of a door slamming and Brian screaming about how he'd been mugged.
I opened the door, rushed down, and here's the story he told me. It's simple and short.
Robert was coming home from his A.A. meeting. It had been a good meeting, positive, uplifting, and a lot of sharing of good energy and wisdom, and now he was on his way home.
Someone, a stranger, called out to him. "Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?"
"Buy? No need, man. I'll give you one." And Robert waited for the man to approach, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and holding them in his hand.
The man came over, apparently to get a cigarette.
Less then two minutes later, Robert was slammed on the ground, rolled over, with the same stranger pulling at his pants until he had Robert's wallet. The stranger had mugged him.Then he ran off never to be seen again. (In fact, when Robert came in the front door he was still struggling to pull up his pants while he screamed about what had happened. As I called the police, and they asked if it was really something they needed to get involved in --the Schenectady police are among the worst in the state, really, look it up-- I thought by the way he adjusted his pants that he might have been sexually assaulted.)
They, the police, did come, they did talk to him, they never caught the mugger.
That was it. Minimal pre-amble, minimal set up, mugger got in close, used the element of surprise on an unsuspecting victim, and knocked him down. Yeah, sure, pre-attack indicators might have come into play if Robert had been looking for them. It's also worth mentioning that Robert broke all three of the rules above. Why? Because he likes to help people. And my guess is that Robert is still out there somewhere, still helping people, and in that sense the mugger did take his wallet, did take his money, but he didn't take his idealism.
Regardless, options exist. If you wish to help street people with handouts of money or cigarettes, your choice, there is nothing wrong with just plain saying, especially late at night, "You want a buck? No problem, but I tell you what, no disrespect intended, of course, but I'm going to set it down here and you can get it after I pick it up. I don't mean to be rude."
Generally, they'll understand. If they're street people, they live in fear of being attacked themselves and completely get where they are coming from.
If they argue, well then, just move on and keep your money. It's their choice and you're under no obligation to give them anything.
And if they are super nice and accomodating, no reason you can't change your mind and say "Hey, you now what, I apologize for being such an asshole. No need for this. Just come here and I'll give you the money."
Whatever. It's up to you, but control the situation, control the space, and don't increase the chances of yourself becoming a victim.
MORE EXAMPLES TO COME
* (While those in attendance seemed quite pleased with the program, I admit I was very surprised when I started looking into things more closely that one of the presenters, Tammy Yard-McCracken, has been presenting herself as a PhD psychologist when in fact, the PhD seems to have come from an unaccredited, on-line diploma mill called The Eisner Institute. Such a degree would not be considered valid by most licensing or academic bodies. Does anyone know if she is licensed to practice as a psychologist anywhere? I was not able to find any such licenses, which would be consistent with the PhD not being from an accredited body, but perhaps I missed one? Does anyone know? It's quite strange for someone to be advertising such a credential if it is an unaccredited degree. In most circles where people have legitimate academic degrees, the use of an accredited degrees is considered sleazy if not downright embarrassing to those who use them. Literally someone pretending to be someone they aren't and asking to be respected for an accomplishment they haven't actually done. Really. )
Update Biographical and Educational Details
on Ms. Tammy Yard-McCracken
Credited VS Unaccredited Degrees, licensing, educational standards and the Case of Tammy Yard McCracken, a doctor by some standard but not others
Experts? More Questions about Tammy Yard-McCracken, self described violence dynamic expert
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